Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Livestrong 2009 Reflections

First let me extend my deepest thanks to those who donated and or supported me in any way for my Livestrong ride. Your gratitude will not be forgotten. As for Andrea and Christian you once again proved to me you are truly remarkable people and I consider myself lucky to call you two my friends.

So instead of giving you a boring play by play description of the weekend I have decided to share and reflect a little. Go beyond the details and let you inside my head. I know scary but stick with me.

To tell this story properly we have to start on mile 21. This is were I was faced with the biggest hill of the day. Actually it was the biggest hill I have seen on a bike. Immediately feelings of failure came over me. For some reason I became very scared that I wasn't going to make it up. Then as I started up I could see people getting off their bike and walking up the hill. As I kept climbing I was so tempted to just quit and and walk it up. As I shifted down to the granniest of all granny gears I refused to stop even if that meant I could pass out. When you reach that level of pain and suffering you learn a lot about yourself. I learned that I have more fight in me than I thought. Although that is not because of any hard training schedule or anything like that. No it was the countless stories I have heard of or read in the last year after committing to this ride. Stories of people who go through worst pain everyday just because of this disease we call Cancer. I also thought of the namesake of our team Mrs Marlene. Although I have never met her in person I feel like I know her enough to say she was a fighter. So as I drew near to the crest of the hill and got out of the saddle to push over I felt calm. Weird but as my legs went numb and then I knew I had made it over. She gave me the fight I needed to win that hill.

So as the ride progressed I made some friends and chatted a little. And as the finish line approached something very unexpected happen to me. I became very emotional. Yeah I cried, there I said it. Reason? Well ever since I lost my Dad 12 years ago to a heart attach I promised myself I would do something in his honor. Unfortunately I am very lazy so I never got around to it. Even though he didn't pass from Cancer I quietly dedicated this ride to him. So as I crossed the finish line it took everything I had to hold back my emotion. So Dad that was for you, thank you for being my Dad, my Father, and my friend.

So in closing one more thing I want to say so its official, yes it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Mentally and physically. So if you think you are up for the challenge let me know and we can add you to the team for 2010.



Jason Crane said...

I was right there with you at that hill, brother. It was a real make-or-break moment. Thanks for your story.

I've posted this and many other stories and photos over at



Andrea said...

You couldn't have summed up your day better. LIVESTRONG is an emotional experience. One that comes at you in so many ways. You and Nicole are wonderful people and I am so grateful for your dedication to our trio of a team! Mom would have loved you guys too!

Jenni said...

Hey Ken,
I'm auctioning off a set of bring pink tires (I rode the same set in Philly) for Livestrong.
Any chance you could help me get the word out? Here's the info:

Thank you for your help!