Sorry for the randomness of this blog lately. It just how my thoughts have been arranged lately. I apologize for the blog A.D.D but look for things to change when I start back to school.
I am not sure if you are aware but I had a close friend lose his Mother last Wednesday and we attended her funeral yesterday. It was a very sudden end to a an incredible life. Now ever since my Dad passed 12 years ago I don't handle funerals very well at all. I can't help but think of the day I sat and looked at my Dad for the last time. That was the hardest moment of my life. Because as the years pass that image just gets a little more faded.
As I sat in the church and listened to the eulogy, and holding my tears back, one phrase he said hit me hard. He said, " Death is certain." Now it just made me realize I can't run from that aspect of my life. It will find me when its time. Now as I get older and watch my friends parents pass on it makes it more real to me. In my stupid selfish way I wonder what type of imprint will I leave? How would I be remembered if I didn't wake up tomorrow? I guess as I get older those questions haunt me. Those questions won't be answered by me but by the people with whom I met and influenced.
Now I lay here with some Iron & Wine playing in the background and damn thankful that I have such great friends. I still can't believe they have put up with me for so long and still return my calls. Kind of sad that tragedy has to make you realize that but I guess that is what it takes sometimes. Life is busy and moves way to quick but today I was brought to a dead stop. Made me come to terms with the current status of my life and how that relates to others. It is my hope that through all this it can bring us all closer. My hope we will stop trying to win the rat race of life, and just believe that maybe our purpose is to each other and not ourselves.